Wiggle!

Meriam: I hate all the animated kid shows these days.

Oh! Except for the Wiggles!

Me: Umm last time I checked they weren't animated.

BFE Lot

We were leaving my office building and Meriam was cold and moving much faster than I was...

Meriam: Mom, where are you parked?

Me (pointing): Way out there in BFE!

(a short time passes)

Meriam: Mom hurry up! I'm cold and I don't get how your parking lot is labeled...which lot is BFE???

Crunchy Lemon Bars with Milk

Meriam: What time did you get home last night?

Me: Just after midnight, I stopped for milk on the way home.

Meriam: Really? (dramatic pause)

I didn't think we had any so I went to Grandma's for breakfast. They only had a weird off brand of fruitloops. They didn't even have a flavor, just a texture. Actually, that's not true. It had a hint of Lemon Bar flavor.

So basically I ate CRUNCHY lemon bars with milk...disgusting!

Buffalo Wings

Meriam: If Daisy wasn't a dog what animal would she be?

Me: An Ox

Meriam: No she wouldn't be an ox, that's mean.

Me: Ok then a Buffalo.

Meriam: That would be ok cuz I like to eat buffalo wings!

Me: You know buffalo wings aren't made of buffalo right?

Meriam: they're not?? I thought that was why they were so rare.

Me: (baffled) Since when are buffalo wings rare?

Pina Colada anyone?

(My phone rings)

Me: Hello

Meriam: Mom, where do I buy a piña colada?

Me: Uh, at a BAR!

Meriam: No, I mean the fruit.

Me: Piña Colada isn't a fruit.

Meriam: Yeah it is. I saw a pack of piña colada gum and the package had a picture of a coconut and some pineapple looking fruit.

Me: That was a pineapple. Piña colada is pineapple AND coconut mixed.

Meriam: Ohhh who knew?

(click)

They do that already?? - part 2

(Sitting on the couch together, at opposite ends)

Me: Umm can you get your feet outta my hoohoo...sheesh are you trying to climb back in or something???

Meriam: My feet are cold!

Me: And this is my problem why?

Meriam: Well they should really make GLOVES for your feet!!

Me: They DO! They're called SOCKS or SLIPPERS!!!

Elmer Fudd

We have one of those drawers that just collects stuff. You know what I mean... we all have one. Okay, maybe two! Anyway, this particular drawer is for the games, cards, fun stuff like that. The other day I asked Meriam to take all of the cards out of that drawer and match them up by sets. If there wasn't an entire deck it just needed to get thrown out.

As she was matching the decks she was particularly interested in the Looney Toon set.

Meriam (holding up a card): "Is this Elmer Fudd?"

Me: "No, that's Yosemite Sam."

Meriam: "Oh okay."

A couple of minutes later....

Meriam: "So did Elmer Fudd invent Elmer's Glue?"

Me: "Um. No."

Meriam (slightly said with attitude): "Well how do you know?"

Me: "Ummmm...because he's a cartoon?"

Meriam: "Oh yeah, that makes sense!"