Playing God

(envision Meriam smashing a dozen ants or so on the counter with her fingertip)

Meriam: Oh sad, I just wiped out a whole human race!

Death by earthquake

Meriam is convinced, and fears, that we will all die in an earthquake, especially her. Any mention or news of an earthquake gets her all worked up about it.

I'm at work today when I get a call that goes like this:

Me: hello?

Meriam: Do we live in the Wasatch Front?

Me: Meriam I don't care about earthquakes right now, I'm busy.

Meriam: What makes you think this is about earthquakes??

Me: Because I know you.

Meriam: Ok, but I've been Googling it and we are due for a big one!

Me: I'm busy.

Meriam: Wait, two questions...

Me: Fine.

Meriam: Was our house built before 1975?

Me: I'm sure it was.

Meriam: Is the frame of our house wood or concrete?

Me: Wood

Meriam: Ohh great! We're double screwed!

Me: Goodbye!

20 minutes later I get a second call...

Me: Hello?

Meriam: What are your plans for Saturday?

Me: I'm not sure, why?

Meriam: Because Kayla and I are making exit plans in case of an earthquake and on Saturday we're going to have a drill. We're making emergency folders and are going to have a 3 day supply of food and clothes.

Me: (click)

Wiggle!

Meriam: I hate all the animated kid shows these days.

Oh! Except for the Wiggles!

Me: Umm last time I checked they weren't animated.

BFE Lot

We were leaving my office building and Meriam was cold and moving much faster than I was...

Meriam: Mom, where are you parked?

Me (pointing): Way out there in BFE!

(a short time passes)

Meriam: Mom hurry up! I'm cold and I don't get how your parking lot is labeled...which lot is BFE???