Crunchy Lemon Bars with Milk

Meriam: What time did you get home last night?

Me: Just after midnight, I stopped for milk on the way home.

Meriam: Really? (dramatic pause)

I didn't think we had any so I went to Grandma's for breakfast. They only had a weird off brand of fruitloops. They didn't even have a flavor, just a texture. Actually, that's not true. It had a hint of Lemon Bar flavor.

So basically I ate CRUNCHY lemon bars with milk...disgusting!

Buffalo Wings

Meriam: If Daisy wasn't a dog what animal would she be?

Me: An Ox

Meriam: No she wouldn't be an ox, that's mean.

Me: Ok then a Buffalo.

Meriam: That would be ok cuz I like to eat buffalo wings!

Me: You know buffalo wings aren't made of buffalo right?

Meriam: they're not?? I thought that was why they were so rare.

Me: (baffled) Since when are buffalo wings rare?

Pina Colada anyone?

(My phone rings)

Me: Hello

Meriam: Mom, where do I buy a piña colada?

Me: Uh, at a BAR!

Meriam: No, I mean the fruit.

Me: Piña Colada isn't a fruit.

Meriam: Yeah it is. I saw a pack of piña colada gum and the package had a picture of a coconut and some pineapple looking fruit.

Me: That was a pineapple. Piña colada is pineapple AND coconut mixed.

Meriam: Ohhh who knew?

(click)

They do that already?? - part 2

(Sitting on the couch together, at opposite ends)

Me: Umm can you get your feet outta my hoohoo...sheesh are you trying to climb back in or something???

Meriam: My feet are cold!

Me: And this is my problem why?

Meriam: Well they should really make GLOVES for your feet!!

Me: They DO! They're called SOCKS or SLIPPERS!!!